“Save yourself the headache of divorce later on and don’t marry him.” Brittany Wong from The Huffington Post takes to relationship experts and shares the signs that your relationship probably won’t last long.
He puts you down in front of friends and family
Does he brag about his education while gently mocking and chiding you about yours? Is he patronizing? Does he reprimand you in front of your friends and family at the dinner table? Marriage therapist Kristina Fecik says, “It’s especially bad if you tell him that it bothers you and he continues, dismissing your feelings of embarrassment.”
“Well-known marriage researcher John Gottman has found that contempt — any statement or non-verbal behavior that puts you on a higher plane than your partner — is the single best predictor of divorce.”
You are polar opposites
Opposites attract but there’s a limit. Dating expert Marin Sbrochi says, “Get ready for battle around month five.” If you’re an extreme introvert and a netfflix-addicted hermit and he’s a party loving Scott Disick, then those differences will end up in an imploding relationship.
“It might be fun for the social butterfly to enjoy having his homebody all to himself… until his friends come calling and endless invitations for social events start pouring in. Then he’ll find you boring. The truth is, if you don’t have any common ground, you don’t have any common ground to have a long-lasting relationship.”
He’s resentful of your friends, family and outside interests.
You may feel flattered that he wants to hog all your time and it will be amazing to feel so desired but if he picks a fight every time you choose to spend time with your friends or family or even activities, then that is a huge red flag. Mediator and divorce attorney Alison Patton says, “You could be dating a controlling narcissist.”
“This type make you feel special and pampered during the dating phase — gifts, outings and trips for two — but underneath it all is a need to be the center of your world all the time. Throughout your marriage he will undermine your attempts to have outside relationships and your own interests.”
Your friends and family want nothing to do with him
They’re never going to think your significant other is good enough for you. If most of them think there’s something seriously wrong with him then it may be wise to take a step back and evaluate the situation.
“Our own inability to see the truth about someone while dating is the reason the divorce rate is so high,” Patton said. ” Often your friends and family do know best. In the words of H. Jackson Brown, Jr., ‘Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90 percent of your happiness or misery.'”
There’s no sexual chemistry
The raging sexual desire for your spouse will decline over time but if there’s no spark at the start it should give you reason for pause. LA-based marriage and family therapist Virginia Gilbert says, “You tell yourself that’s OK because he’s a ‘nice guy’ and you’re looking for stability, and you think he can provide it.”
“But while you don’t need to marry Mr. Best Sex Ever, you do need to walk down the aisle with a guy who turns you on. Most couples have to work to keep sex exciting over the long haul, but you won’t be able to do that if you don’t have a strong foundation of mutual sexual attraction and desire to begin with.”
He’s really, really ridiculously good looking — and that’s about it.
They’re all over the place. Nice packaging with poor quality content. If he’s got no personality then you’re bound to get bored. Looks fade.
“I’ve been down this road and it does not end well,” Sbrochi said. “Instantly you are imagining how amazing you would look together walking down the aisle — but on each date you find that it’s like pulling teeth to even get a sentence out of Mr. McDreamy. When he finally does talk, it’s lacking substance and depth. Face facts: his good looks can only take him so far.”
You’re more invested in sharing a wedding day with him than sharing a life
Just because he “ticks all of the boxes” and your biological clock is ticking, you shouldn’t cast aside your doubts – dig a bit deeper.
“It’s common to get caught up in the fantasy of the wedding day — or see a guy as a decent candidate for a husband just because you’re baby-ready,” Fecik said. “But take the time to get to know your partner before you get to know the wedding planner. Don’t wait to discuss the important issues eight years later, when you and your hubby are on a marriage therapist’s couch.”