This is Why You Dated Some Terrible People

We’ve all dated or been with some real monsters. If you haven’t you may be the monster, I’m not sure. Chances are the person you dated scored highly in one of the three categories of the Dark Triad personality test, which we covered in a post earlier today. I recommend you do it and then come back here and read the rest of this post. Knowing your results could help in knowing why you may be the sort of person people like to have one night stands with but not a long term loving relationship.

All those qualities together can lead to a person you really don’t want to hang out with, maybe an ex even? So how come these personality traits haven’t died out? Who’s breeding with these people? Findings by the European Journal of Personality seeks to discover the answer to this riddle.

The study involved 46 women and 44 men who did a 3 minute speed dating session with each other. They were then asked to fill in a card about each persons desirability from friendship, one-night-stand, “friend with benefits”, long-term romance, and whether they’d like to see them again.

Men who scored higher in narcissism were rated by women as more appealing for short-term trysts and longer-term commitment

According to Research Digest showed “that men who scored higher in narcissism were rated by women as more appealing for short-term trysts and longer-term commitment, but not as friends. Women were also more likely to say they’d like to see these men again. Scores in the other two Dark Triad traits did not make any difference to the men’s success.

“Similar to the men, women who scored higher in narcissism also attracted more favourable ratings from their dating partners, for short and long-term relationships, but not for friendships. For women (but not men) scoring higher in psychopathy also went hand-in-hand with receiving more favourable ratings as a potential one-night stand.

“Intriguingly, the reasons for male and female narcissists’ allure in speed dating seemed to be different. For men, it was entirely explained by extraversion. Male narcissists tended to score higher in extraversion, and once the appealing influence of extraversion was factored out, narcissism offered nothing more. By contrast, for women, narcissism correlated with physical attractiveness (as rated by four judges who didn’t take part in the dating), and once the appealing influence of physical attractiveness was controlled for, narcissism added nothing. Ditto for women’s psychopathy – the appeal was all down to the fact that psychopathy correlated with physical attractiveness.

It seems that narcissism (for men and women) and psychopathy (for women) make people more attractive in the mating game

“In short, it seems that narcissism (for men and women) and psychopathy (for women) make people more attractive in the mating game, at least in the context of speed dating among young people, which helps explain the advantage that these traits provide. But crucially, the reasons for this are not direct, but have to do with other characteristics that correlate with narcissism and psychopathy, rather than with the traits directly.

“This raises some interesting questions for future research, such as why are extraversion and narcissism linked in men, and why are attractiveness and narcissism (and psychopathy) linked in women? For instance, does a woman’s attractiveness make it more likely that she’ll develop narcissistic traits, or do her narcissistic traits make it more likely that she’ll put more effort into her appearance?


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