15 G-Rated Dad Jokes To Get You Through the Hump Day Blues

Picking the minds of the userbase over at Reddit the best family friendly jokes have been uncovered. I mean, quite frankly you can’t get past a decent bit of dirty R18 stuff but sometimes the kids are around and you need to make do with humour that doesn’t rely on the shock factor.

So here we go, prepare for the dad jokes.

The butcher accidentally backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines

A lonely guy goes to a pet store looking for a companion. The store clerk says “I’ve got the perfect pet for you!” and brings out a shoebox with a caterpillar in it. Though the lonely man is skeptical but makes the purchase. Once home he sets the shoebox down and wonders what he and his new friend should do. He asks the caterpillar “do you wanna go to the bar?” No answer. Again, the lonely man says “would you like to go to the bar and get a drink or somethin?” Still no answer. Now the man is a bit upset and yells “Hey! do you wanna go down to the bar??” The caterpillar says “I heard you the first time, I was just putting on my shoes.”

Q:What’s the difference between a T-bone steak and a meteorite?

A: One’s meaty and the other’s a little meteor.

[shortcode id=”33529″]


My girlfriend: Donald Duck?

Me: No! All ducks silly!

Chinese proverb: Man run behind bus get exhausted, man run in front of bus gets tired.

What’s the difference between a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?


A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, “Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?” The photon says, “No thanks, I’m traveling light.”

What’s E.T. short for?

Because he’s got little legs.