Here are Guys 6 Most Common Complaints About Marriage
4. They’re not having sex.
Bonnie Ray Kennan marriage therapist has seen it a lot. “So many husbands can’t understand why their wives don’t initiate sex and or want to have sex. The thing is, men feel closer when they have sex with their wives, but women will want to have sex with their husbands when they feel understood by them and closer to them.
The advice I give to men is to really initiate relationship work with their wives.
Physical intimacy should always be a priority for both spouses.
“The advice I give to men is to really initiate relationship work with their wives,” she said. “Take her to a place away from the home, sit down and work to understand her better. Tell her she seems unhappy and that you would like to help her with this. Then, listen non-defensively to what she says.”
5. They’re not speaking the same love language as their spouse.
Sometimes a couples love language doesn’t match up. Words of affirmation may not be what he needs and quality time may not be what you require for example.
Walkup sees the key to fixing this one as being pretty simple. Just figure out what language you need to speak to each other. “Ask each other: ‘During our life together, could you name five times when I have done something that made you know that I loved you?’ Together parse out the ingredients: Was it an action? Was it touch? Was it words of affirmation? Was it a gift? Was it listening? Armed with this knowledge, you’ll hopefully spend your energy caring in a way that makes each other glow.”
6. They’re sick of the “good cop/bad cop” parenting routine.
Guys find that they can get typecast as the bad guy the whole time that needs to do the disciplining, and this isn’t healthy for anyone in the family.
“Frequently, the husband will be the disciplinarian and the wife will become excessively permissive. They get trapped in that ‘good cop, bad cop’ dynamic.” says Ray Kennan. She suggests that couples show a unified front and get back onto the same team.
Frequently, the husband will be the disciplinarian and the wife will become excessively permissive.
“Your children will be healthier and balanced if you’re contributing in the same way,” she said. “Negotiate with your wife to find ways to integrate both parenting styles into a seamless unit that your children see and trust.”
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