Girls of the world have come together to share their horror stories of bungles that have ensured their first date will never become a second. Some of these will be totally familiar, while some are so bizarre they may never happen again.
These anecdotes come from a thread on Reddit where users were asked “Girls, what are the things a guy does on a first date that kills it?”
Here are their replies. Try not to cringe.
1. Stare Obsessively
“I wasn’t even technically on a date as I had told him I wanted to take it slow, yet the entire time I was with him he would look over and stare at me with a huge smile on his face while chuckling. Especially when we were on his couch. I leaned forward for a drink and he put his arm around me and the first words out of my mouth were ‘you know I’m not over my ex and we didn’t break up on bad terms. I think we’ll get back together actually!'”
2. Being Neurotically Frugal
“I remember my friend who is a very very frugal person took a girl for dinner, with intention of paying. Girl orders $34 chicken but doesn’t eat any, towards the end of dinner he lunged at that chicken and stuffed it down his throat as fast as he could. He told me there was no 2nd date.”
Towards the end of dinner he lunged at that chicken and stuffed it down his throat as fast as he could.
3. Had a Swingers Membership Card
“He told me that he belongs to a swingers sex club that met once a month. He even showed me his membership card. Needless to say there was no second date because he kept comparing me to the girls he f**ked the week before.”
4. Smells Like Juice
“Was on a first date, from ok Cupid…guy was nice, funny, lots in common, we went to Starbucks to meet and he smelled like juice. LIKE A LOT. Whole time, I was thinking, ‘did he just have juice? Is it body wash? Did he spill juice on himself earlier? Does he know he smells like juice? Can I reasonably date someone who smells like juice this strongly?'”
5. Not Using The Naan
“I had a guy lick the plate at the end of dinner. It wasn’t a silly joke, it wasn’t to show off his skills. It was a plate of tikka masala with perfectly good naan just sitting next to it, and he picked the whole thing up and licked it clean while I sat in absolute astonishment. Then he asked to come back to my place like nothing out of the ordinary happened. He was in his early 30’s. Sigh.”
6. Being a Try Hard
“I don’t need you to try show me how much you know about food/beer/wine/music/movies/exercise/whatever we’re talking about or trying to enjoy. Let’s just have a conversation, mmmkay? You don’t have to win. This is especially annoying when it manifests as ‘you don’t want to order that, you HAVE to get this it’s so much better.'”
You don’t want to order that, you HAVE to get this it’s so much better.
7. Me Me Me
“Constantly talking about himself without asking anything about me, or when he does ask about me, interrupts me to talk about himself. In other words, completely dominating the conversation to speak about nothing else besides himself.”
8. Asking Dodgy Questions
“Had a guy ask if I was on birth control. A bit presumptuous.”
9. Slobbing It
“Maybe I’m picky, but when a guy doesn’t even pretend to dress nicely for the date, it’s a major turn off. Like, showing up wearing a black hoodie has visible Cheeto dust where you wiped your hands, or maybe there’s a suspicious stain on the crotch of your pants. Yeah, I’m definitely not going to investigate that more closely with any part of my body…”