There are plenty of articles out there about relationships and how to get into them. But sometimes that isn’t the right place for you. Take a breather and ask yourself “Is it awesome being single” and the answer should mostly be yes, except on those dark nights when you get swallowed by the existential fear of dying alone and not getting found for several weeks slumped in your bean bag with Gilmore Girls looping on repeat.
Maybe you’ve just come out of a relationship. Don’t feel under any pressure to rush into another one. Sort your business out, file that baggage away and assess the damage. In the meantime, enjoy where you are.
1.NO HALF WATCHED TV SHOWS
Before you would start a show together and it’d be considered a heinous offence if you watched it without them. This would lead to a pile of half watched TV shows due to life getting in the way and eventually giving up on ever knowing what happens to Jon Snow. But not anymore, and because you now have so much time you can watch 3 seasons a weekend.
2. SO MUCH MONEY
When you were in a relationship you were constantly broke. Where did all the money go? I guess it doesn’t matter because now you’re feeling freaking rich af! Time to throw your budget out the window and live like a king because you’re going to be spending all your money on fast food now, because what’s the point in cooking for one.
3. NO FAMILY THINGS
The only thing worse than going to a family dinner is going to a family dinner filled with people you aren’t even related to. Those are gone and you can get back to being a half dressed introvert avoiding human contact at all costs.
4. SO MUCH BED
No longer is sleep a battlefield for the blankets and morning arguments over what your unconscious bodies during the night. If you wake up in the middle of the night with no blankets on it won’t be because a heartless loved one nicked them all, it’s because you kicked them all off during that fever dream of yours.
5. NO CHECKING CALENDARS
Remember when you had to make sure you weren’t clashing events with your loved one? You wanted to hang out with your friends and enjoy your life and they wanted to go and waste your life away at a craft expo. Never again! when someone asks “Are you free?” you can respond, “Yes, I’m also available.”
6. NO MORE EMPATHY
When you were in a relationship you couldn’t be happy when they weren’t happy. You had to be upset with them even if you yourself were feeling freaking great. Somehow it never favours the person who’s happy. Well now you never need to worry about another persons emotions ever again except your own. Indulge yourself, wallow in whatever emotion you like whenever you’re feeling it.
Remember, humans are assholes, that’s why things like capitalism and mustard gas exist. The only person truly good person is you.