Five Love Languages That Are Critical To Every Relationship

Relationships are based on love, but what happens if you find yourself speaking a different language?

New York Times best selling author, Gary Chapman, has been teaching couples the secrets to a “love that lasts”.

As divorce rates continue to rise, it’s hard to believe there could be such an answer to everlasting love.

With more than 35 years experience in marriage counselling, Gary Chapman has seen just about everything.
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What he has found time and time again is that among the many ways we can show love to one another, there are five universal categories.

Here is a description of the five different love languages in your relationship or marriage.

1. Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited comments mean the word to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind your love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time

In the area of quality time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly appreciated and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or failure to listen can be especially hurtful.


3. Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an Acts of Service person will speak volumes. The words that she or he most wants to hear are, “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them, tell those with this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgiveable and destructive.

Speaking the right love language can make all the difference.

Many of us who have been in relationships have felt the difficulty when each person is expressing their love in a different way. This can lead to frustration, resentment, hurt feelings, and a strained relationship.

Maintaining a healthy relationship is no doubt a daily and lifelong pursuit. It can be made just that much easier by understanding which love language you communicate in.

To find out which love languages you and your partner relate closest too, take a short quiz online here.

Speaking the right love language can make all the difference.

Take the time to make an investment in your relationship, you’ll truly thank yourself for it.