As a girl in my 20s, I can’t tell you how many times I have had friends come to me, sobbing after a breakup and saying that they will never date again because ‘Mr Right’ turned out to be very, very wrong. After a few months, countless chick flick marathons and a whole lot of ice cream, the pain usually heals and eventually they are ready to get back on the horse again, but it’s no secret that finding your special someone can sometimes be a pretty painful experience – no matter what age you are.
So if you’ve had some bad experiences but are still determined to find your perfect match, where do you start? According to New York based psychotherapist, lecturer, author and relationship expert Ken Page (L.C.S.W), it could be time to delete those dating apps and instead start asking yourself some hard questions about who this person really is – instead of just dismissing them because of surface traits.
“When it comes to dating, we’ve been taught that cool trumps kind,” Page writes on Psychology Today. “This is not only misguided; it is the fast-track path to emotional pain. In an age of online meet-ups, the modern dating call has become, “Next!” We scroll through countless profiles, looking almost exclusively for photos of people who represent our exact “type.””