Dating Tips from the Most Popular Woman on OkCupid

Lauren Urasek was crowned OkCupid’s most messaged straight woman in New York City in 2014. Now 25-years-old, the makeup artist has received a plethora of terrible messages that are documented on her blog, theyreallysaidthis. 

photographed by Emily Lambert

However, she’s reaped some benefits from acquiring this stigmatised title. She’s published a book, Popular: The Ups and Downs of Online Dating from the Most Popular Girl in New York City where she unveils personal stories, essays and advice for living in this digitally dominated world. Here are three tips for those online-dating millenials.


Urasek told Refinery29, “People put too much pressure on meeting people online.” Even when a match’s profile seems perfect, don’t put all your eggs in one basket as you might be severely disappointed after meeting in real life. “Until it’s amazing and great and you’re in a monogamous relationship, if that’s what you want, keep dating other people and don’t put all your focus on that person.”

Don’t waste your time

Online dating sucks up a lot of your time when you’re needing to craft smart, sharp and witty messages. However, this is very dangerous as you can fall for someone’s internet persona, which, at times, can be completely different when you talk face to face.

It’s okay to be single

There’s a lot of pressure for everyone to be in relationship – then get married – then have kids. “I want women and girls to know that it’s okay to be single and happy,” she says, “and I think when you’ve found that comfort to be by yourself, that’s when you’re the happiest.” 

Christopher Anderson/Magnum Photos/New York Magazine