This Is The Science behind Stalking Our Ex’s New Lover

We’ve all used social media to bring out our inner sleuth to stalk our ex and god forbid, their new lover. If you say you haven’t ever done it before, you’re either lying or have serious detachment issues. We invite our friends to look at her strange face and they support you by saying, “you’re prettier. She looks like an alien,” and laugh at her ugly photos and stupidity when she misspells her captions and uses incorrect grammar. Also, when she comes to the bar you’re bartending at, you have a strong urge to spike it with your spit. Why do we blame them though? Isn’t it a time of feminism where all women should be supporting and loving one another? All themes of girl power goes out the window when you see the new girl with your ex man.

Patrick Wanis, a human behaviour expert and life coach, says “women are always in competition with their own sex.” We are always checking out other women more than we check out men. This is true. This instinct is tracked to the caveman’s times when women looked after the children and fought any temptress that tried to break up their families. That man is mine and don’t you dare go near him. However, it’s important to note that your ex’s new girl is probably very similar to you.


You also probably analyse your previous messages and posts and delete some pictures that cause heartache. The distress level was elevated based on the post break-up Facebook surveillance. Either because surveillance would make the participants more distressed or because you get more distressed with more surveillance. Who knows.


Unfriending is seen as a dramatic response that can cause unwanted feuds and sides between mutual friends. However, unfriending does help when you see less of their smiling face or PDA on your feed.

One thing you most definitely should do post break-up is change your Facebook password as many have been either victims of hacking or have admitted to hacking into their ex’s profiles.

A study by Western University provides some statistics:

  • 88% of 18 to 35 year olds have stalked their ex’s page
  • 80% have stalked their ex’s new partners.
  • 48% of people remained friends with their exs on Facebook.
  • 70% used a mutual friend’s profile or logged in as a mutual friend to creep their ex.
  • 74% tried to creep an ex’s new partner or suspected new partner.
  • 64% said they re-read or analyzed old messages from their ex.
  • 50% deleted pictures of their ex from their profile.
  • 31% posted pictures to try to make their ex jealous.
  • 33% posted a song lyric or quote about their ex as their status.
  • 52% said they were jealous of a picture their ex posted.