Children can be little angels, cuddling their parents and gifting them endless macaroni frames and finger paintings. The wee baby at the cafe, nestled into his mum laughing at his dad might make you a little clucky – whether it is for your first, second or tenth child.
But what about the little boy you see throwing a tantrum at the supermarket because there are no coco pops left, or the little girl who tricks her sister to eat a stone because she told her it was a mint … Parenting can be hard, and for those of us without children it can be hilarious.
Parents took to Reddit to share the hilarious and somewhat strange rules they had to create for their children, because at the end of the day children are entertaining.
1. No crayons in the butter –bigben74
2. No licking the bus.
No licking your hand then touching the bus then licking your hand.
No licking your hand, touching the bus, then putting your finger in mamas ear.
No licking mamas hand.
No licking mamas ear.
In fact if we could just put a moratorium on licking things that would be super.
He’s not quite two. He licks. – donnamatrix79
3. Do not eat the dog food from the dog dish like a dog – wdh662
4. “No haunting the neighbours.” My daughter used to think it was hilarious the whisper weird crap into the vents of our apartment building, things like: You have dishonored your ancestors. That’s disgusting. Stop it! The cat want gravy! One of our elderly neighbours thought she really was a ghost, whispering to him –Poisonpenivy
5. Easy. I have 2 sons. One is 7 and one is 3. I had to enforce a rule for the 3 year old called ‘no headbutting at the dinner table’. NO HEADBUTTING AT THE DINNER TABLE. For F***s sake. The 7 year old is so gentle and timid and the 3 year old is an absolute psycho with zero fear. I’m not sure if it’s a youngest child thing or he’s just mental – hdawg187
6. You may not put your little sister in any appliance, including but not limited to: the washer, the dryer, the over, the chest freezer, and the dishwasher – Librarygoddess
7. Do not spray sunscreen in the toaster oven, do not pour a whole bottle of dish liquid in the toilet. Lastly do not pour cooking oil all over the kitchen floor so you can slide around in it –Karma_Cookie
8. I have a kid who hates wearing clothes so our rule is if there is a knock on the door he has to go put clothes on quick –empty-handed-painter
9. Do not write on the side of the car with a rock. Seriously. I have seen pictures of kids who did that, but..man. At least she wrote “I love you.” –Ransom_Rabbit
10. It’s been a while, but “no Pop Tarts in the VCR” was one I hadn’t anticipated –Graytis
11. No saying Santa in air quotes. Your sister still believes damn it –TuesDazeGone