Everyone goes through that super exciting, yet insanely terrifying few weeks when they realise they’re getting married. It might be the guy sweating over the perfect proposal, or the girl freaking out over various wedding things. However, after the excitement’s done and you settle into your new lives together, all-too-often there are times where one of you will ask a question you know you should have asked a long time ago. We went around the office and gathered the top five questions people want to know before they tie the knot.
The big one. You should definitely figure this out before he drops a knee, as it’s a big make-or-break conversation. If you get married and suddenly realise one of you wants kids and one doesn’t, you’re going to find yourself in an awful situation very fast. The best bet is to ask in that time where you’ve moved in together but aren’t engaged. Just bring it up casually, so the other doesn’t freak out about unplanned pregnancy or a desperation to be a parent. Unless of course, you want to be a desperate, slightly scary, would-be parent. Then, by all means, go ahead.
Talking about money isn’t the easiest thing at the best of times, especially the first time you two bring it up. It can be emasculating, awkward and make people just feel crap. But if you’re going to be partners for life, you need to talk about it and it’s best to get it done sooner rather than later. If you’re past the dating phase and you see yourself with them for a good long time, then try not to beat around the bush with money. Just make sure you don’t make them feel bad about it, and it’ll all be fine. Start with sorting out a savings plan and a weekly budget, that will get you both in the habit of good spending. Before you know it, you’ll be able to afford that brand new BMW!
Another aspect of this is debt. ‘Is my debt your debt?’ This is a tough question, especially for those who take on a bit of extra student loan or got a bank loan for something they didn’t really need. If you’re both willing to help pay it off, that’s fantastic, but imagine how tough it would be if you got married and then found out they had a five-digit debt. It can very easily skewer something great, so it’s best if you get all money issues in the open as soon as you’re comfortable bringing it up.
The changing of the name
It’s assumed that the girl takes the boy’s name. It’s tradition, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be. Take me for example. My parents didn’t want to take each other’s last name for various reasons, so they simply chose a new one. It makes for a great conversation starter – “I’m a first generation Bijoux.” You don’t have to sacrifice your family name if you don’t want to, you can just start from scratch. But of course, if you do want to take their name, you still can. There’s always a choice!