When we’re looking for the perfect partner, there are usually multitudes of factors we consider. Physical attractiveness, emotional stability, financial state, morals, political stance… But there is one other, big aspect that we tend to overlook.
In honour of World Kindness Day coming up this Sunday the 13th, dating website EliteSingles asked 28,000 New Zealand singles to rate the attributes that they most want in a partner – and it turns out that, for Kiwi men and women, the most attractive quality is kindness. Interestingly, kindness beat personality traits and values including sex appeal, emotional connection and moral values to take the number one spot. Both genders consider an emotional connection to be the second most important attribute in a partner. In a bit of a twist, the survey findings show sex appeal is more important to women (55% consider it important) than men (53%).
It turns out that, for Kiwi men and women, the most attractive quality is kindness.
The top three qualities identified by women:
1. Kindness (80%)
2. Emotional connection (76%)
3. Moral values (74%)
The top three qualities identified by men:
1. Kindness (63%)
2. Emotional connection (59%)
3. Sexual compatibility (56%)
Salama Marine, in-house relationship psychologist at EliteSingles, commented on the findings: “After couples have been together for a while, they can begin to lose respect for each other. They tend to become careless with how they speak to one another and this can seriously harm the relationship. The majority of the singles in this study have already experienced marriage or some form of long-term commitment, so they know all too well how forgetting to be kind can destroy a relationship. It’s therefore not surprising that ‘kindness’ is the most important attribute in a potential partner when seeking long-term love.”
“It’s scientifically proven that kindness and generosity are the two most important elements to a lasting relationship. Kindness is not about pretending to be happy all the time but rather about being considerate towards your partner. It’s the act of carefully expressing your feelings to them – both good and bad,” Marine added.